When NextMovie's editor told me Sandie Angulo Chen was writing a piece arguing Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are a more epic couple than Bella and Edward, I thought, "Who?"
Not Sandie, I know who she is. She's been on my s**t list since last year for claiming there are no positive role models in "Eclipse." What? How about my girl Jessica Stanley (Anna Kendrick) earning valedictorian honors over vampire students who can read minds and see the future?
I digress. I thought, "Who?" referring to Ron and Hermione. It took me a moment to compute that Sandie claims Harry Potter's second fiddles are an epic couple. From what I gleaned by watching "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (it features R.Pattz), Hermione is cute and smart, but still doesn't have enough sense to fall in love with the hero (or even R.Pattz's character, for that matter). And Ron... that dude looks terrified 90 percent of the time and is constantly scrambling for his lost pet rat.
I was asked if I wanted to write an opposing argument. Easy money! Bella and Edward taking on Ron and Hermione is like LeBron James and Dwayne Wade playing two-on-two against Dobby and Filius Flitwick (for the record: I looked those references up). Let the battle begin.
Build-Up
Every legendary couple from Odysseus and Penelope to Mario and Princess Peach Toadstool has to overcome monstrous hurdles in order to be together. I dare say no one knows a deeper love than a person who's bested a Cyclops or stomped Goomba mushrooms in order to get that love. Edward has to overcome every instinct of his being not to eat Bella, while she in turn overcomes her raging teenage hormones not to jump his bones. He rescues her from several other vampires and she travels to Italy to save him from the Volturi. I dare say they've bested more obstacles than any other contemporary couple.
Relationship Style
Does any person dream about a romance where you befriend someone and gradually fall in love over the years? No! Any man who takes the "friend approach" with a woman hoping it will blossom into more is sorely disappointed and broken after hearing about her sex life with frat boys. If a couple does get together after years of friendship, like Ron and Hermione do, it's because they've just settled for each other. The fantasy we all prefer is a romance with instant chemistry. Bella and Edward experience love at first sight (sure, despite the fact Edward looks like he'll vomit at the time). Bella's enticing scent overpowered urges he thought he'd quelled years ago.Romantic Chemistry
The reason so many teenagers do horrendously stupid things for love is because no one loves as teens do. I remember being curled up on the floor, thinking I was going to die because Stephanie Denzler wouldn't date me. That intense teen longing and blind romance is the epitome of Bella and Edward. Once they meet, there is no one else for either of them. They'd rather die than be without each other. Bella won't seriously consider Jacob, even though he's totally ripped, always shirtless and can turn into a giant wolf. And the best thing about their romantic chemistry is they get to be teenagers in love for eternity (and not get ugly).Relability to Fans
Have you ever heard of a Team Ron? No? That's because it doesn't exist. Potterheads may like Ron and Hermione as a couple, but they're just background to Harry's epic battle. Twi-hards have posters of Bella and Edward in their bedrooms as inspiration for the love they want. 99.9 percent of fans will never experience the same level of romance, but they know what it's like to long for someone and want the glee that comes with getting them. The reason we watch fantasy movies like "Harry Potter" and "Twilight" is for the escape. We want our fantasy couples to look like Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart, not like people you could date if they weren't famous.Likeness to Other Epic Couples
Is there a couple more epic than Romeo and Juliet? You cannot hear either of those names without immediately thinking of the other. Teen lovers from two different worlds (opposing families), they overcome seemingly impossible politics to be together and would rather die than be without the other. I've already explained how Edward and Bella do the same. The only difference is they die and get to live forever. Romeo and Juliet just die.
Closing Argument
I can't imagine any criteria for being an epic couple that Edward and Bella do not meet. Off the top of my head, the classic couples I think of other than the ones I've already named are: Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler, Jack and Rose, Arwen and Aragorn, Buttercup and Westley, Baby and Johnny, Rocky and Adrian, and Jack Twist and Ennis.Sorry, literature and TV geeks, my only reference points are movies. They all fill my criteria exactly: The two lovers come from different worlds, overcome huge obstacles and have immediate chemistry, and you would want to see them have sex. I'm a straight dude (I swear), but I'd rather watch Jack and Ennis do it than Ron and Hermione.
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